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Friday, March 27, 2015

The Allure of Mystery ~ A French Girl Friday Post

To be a little mysterious to others is a great way to channel your Inner French Girl.

There is indeed something to be said about not sharing too much. The French, and I have known this from reading several books, are rather tight lipped and mysterious about their life, on the flip side, Americans, or at least quite a few Americans are very much the opposite. As I am typing this Dr. Phil is on and yet another family is airing their dirty laundry for the world to see. We have reality shows where too much information is the norm. Standing in line at the drugstore the other day, a lady turned to me after another had walked away, and said to me " In five minutes, that woman told me her life story... it was exhausting!" ,. It happened to me the other day while waiting for a table for my brunch for one, when a very kind elderly gentleman sat down and I made a polite comment about him finding a parking space, as I had walked by while he was looking for one in the parking lot, and suddenly I had been told all about his vacation, his now deceased wife and I am sure he would have continued on if I had not been called to go to my table. I am a blogger, sharing is what I do, and at times I KNOW I have shared too much information, it has lead me to be much more chatty with strangers when out and about and opening up as they do, in turn.... then thinking " why did I do that or say that?" , and yet I do not want to seem to not be friendly to others, that is not me, I am very friendly, but perhaps being a blogger has made me more so. I used to be much more private, quiet, perhaps perceived as shy and closed off... I am very shy believe it or not. When out with my husband, I let him do the talking to others. In recent years however, that I have become a little more chatty with others if it is a one on one, and of course here and my FB page, so I suspect it is posting here that has made me be a bit more open and less mysterious on a day to day basis.   Perhaps I need to channel my inner French girl and create a little more mystery around myself. Difficult when sharing, as I said is what I do as a hobby. 

via google search

In pursuit of channeling my inner French girl whenever and however I can I have, if you have been reading this blog knows that includes reading the book Lessons from Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott. This weeks chapter just happens to be on the subject of cultivating an air of mystery. It is not a new subject, I first read a similar suggestion in the book by Jamie Cat Callan , Ooh La La, a book I happen to have been featured in ; if you click under Labels here on the page on the French Girl Friday link, you will find the blog I did on that very book. If you google the subject of being a mysterious woman, there is several blogs, this one  popped up first, and there is even a how to on the subject as well as a Wiki How page . There is a lot out there that supports adding a bit of mystery to our daily life and how we lead it, and that by doing so not only will you be channeling that inner French girl, but become more alluring as a woman and lady like, if that is a goal, there is some simple steps you can take as laid out by Jennifer Scott in her book. 

via google search 

Being a little more mysterious is not about being rude and stand offish, it is not about not saying anything if asked , but simply not telling everything like that woman in drugstore line. Even among friends and family there should be some mystery. My family is very open, and I am sure there are times on both sides we wish we did not know as much about each other. Does it mean never sharing certain aspects with anyone? No, that is not the point, we all need someone to confide in, someone we can tell everything to, a spouse, a best friend... after all talking things out can be therapeutic. So what are some steps that you can take to become a little more mysterious and find a happy medium with how much you share and with whom you share it? None of them, unless you are by nature a chatty Cathy that can not help themselves, is difficult. The number one I liked within the chapter and one I employ more and more is one the author suggests is " Acquire a Mona Lisa smile.....a subtle half smile suggests you know something...." , another good one is to speak softy. I am always telling my husband and my oldest daughter, well and even my Mom from time to time over the years " use your inside voice.", although at times I can not follow that rule as my husband is hard of hearing! The one thing using a soft voice causes is the listener leaning in to hear what you have to say, according to the author that is "very mysterious" , not sure my husband sees it as me being mysterious but more so it being a mystery as to what I am saying. 

Picking and choosing tips that stood out to me within the chapter, was one that came as a surprise... "Being Yourself" , I was so intrigued by this tip that I want to share the entire paragraph.... " Be Yourself: Cultivating an air of mystery is not to be confused with being fake, putting on airs, or trying to be someone you are not. It is simply being yourself without hiding behind a wall of people pleasing. It's about not exchanging fake pleasantries or sharing truths about yourself with people who are not terribly important to you. So be in the moment, and be yourself fully. Value the air of mystery that draws people to you." Jennifer L. Scott.  I think that she sums up the entire subject beautifully, in a way I can not top, so shall leave you till net week with that thought. 

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