Changes

I need to make some changes. No not to the blog. I am quite pleased, even though it has morphed from all decor to more of a life blog with decor thrown in , that rather suits me. I have much more fun with it being a hodge podge of everything I am interested in and thinking.

No, the change I am thinking of is me. I made one this week already. I cut my hair. I just could not stand it. Oh I love long hair, and once when I was young I had long, thick , massive and curly hair and I loved it. Wet scrunch and go. Wish I knew how to work my scanner, I would show you. Just going to have to trust me. I ran across pics the other day and was amazed by it. Since my 40's hit and well all the health issues I have, throw in middle age, and the amount of stress that our lives have had intertwined , my hair has thinned out . Many still comment on it's thickness, and when I say it was 3x that they are amazed. The other thing, the texture has changed, it was very course, and now it is less so. AND the biggest is I have some wave, but for the most part I have now pretty strait hair. I used to have ringlets!

 I had stopped cutting my hair this whole past year , growing it out and seeing what would happen. Well what happened is it was driving me nuts, it would not style the same twice, and so it became just an easy habit to wear it in a pony tale. Then it was breaking off , I would have clumps in the shower...that is a scary site. You would think I was going bald!! Thank God for that thick hair! So even though I had made a deal with my daughter Rebecca to grow it till December and then decide....I went for a trim...a cheap one, 5.99! Yep! I dared to do that. It was ok...that is where the flip hair style came in....

I lived with that for a week and well did not like it so much. So went and paid a bit more for a longer A line ...

It was cute and a big hit, but still was not me....seemed just a bit too sedate. Part of the issue with the long hair I had is most days I felt as if I was dumpy and motherly, older than I was feeling. Of course going all natural, giving up coloring my hair and letting the white shine through was not helping. So, off I went for my third hair cut in as many weeks....yeah not real budget friendly, but always seems to happen when I go from long to short...mainly cause stylists are not wanting to cut off "too much" ...even after I tell them I have had a buzz cut before! So I went to the one stylist I trust and we even went a bit shorter so that I would not have to go back in two weeks.

 

THIS is me ! This made me feel spunky, edgy and even with the white , and it seems to be gaining on the dark brown/auburn mix I have had all my life, it seemed more youthful. Suddenly I wanted to wear make up again, and I wanted to wear my cute clothing a bit more and even my personality seemed to alter a bit. It was amazing to me what this seemingly small change made. And well everyone loves it...even my husband says he likes it more!!!

Well it has inspired me to make more changes. Actually I was considering it, wanting it, needing it , but too lazy to do it . The change I want to make ? Is fight my sluggish thyroid, fight my perimenopause, fight the fibromyalgia , arthritis and cortisol from stress and get back in shape. Yes, I walk a lot, well right now not as much as I was, too dang hot! But, with all the brick walls I have to knock down to loose a pound I basically have given up even trying. I mean I am still a size 6, not bad for three kids and a woman in her mid 40's! But I am a chubby, soft, ripply size 6. OH ! and that size 6 is tight too!

 I am also short. Just over 5'2" and though medium boned and hourglass figure , every extra pound shows and badly! OH! and to make it worse, I gain in my arms and lower body. Problem is if I exercise, even walk ( with all the hills in this area) I end up bulking up. So hills, squats, lunges, they not only tone me, but my measurements go up instead of down...so I have to be careful. All these hills I walk, my bottom has raised....that is great for my age when usually your bottom starts to slide to place that is should not...and I am so not into wearing butt lifting under garments! I already have to wear "sausage casing" to flatten out the pooch giving birth to three children gifted me when I wear slim fitting clothing....even at my lowest weight of 104 I had to do that! OH! and then the thighs....I see the pics that was in the simple pleasures ...DEAR LORD!

 Ya know Kim Kardashian is my height, and our measurements are always about the same within a 1/2 to 1" , but she has nice shaped thighs...although I LOVE that she has cellulite and admits it and accepts it..makes me feel a tad better...but let's face it , cellulite rather fades into the back ground when you have dark skin and well look like that! My thighs ,well again because of genetics, (yes that darn cottage cheese is genetic, even skinny girls can have it if it runs in the family!) are lumpy, bumpy and thick....and EEEEKGHADS I am getting a varicose vein and a couple spider veins as well! HERE is the kicker. I have very hard, toned, well under the ripples, thighs from all the walking, but you can not tell cause of the fat! I know I am not large, but when I took a fat test, it is too high and I need to get rid of it....I have more fat than muscle at the moment, or at least a higher percentage than what is deemed healthy. I need to change my diet habits and well figure out how to shed some from my legs...keep wondering if fat slides with age as well???

 So here I am , I have a raised bottom line from hills, and toned thighs hiding under a layer of fat , so my slender size six of years past looks like a chunky middle aged size 6. Now I have no problems with my age, but I am a bit vain on occasion and well I am not liking what I see in the photos. And knowing the health issues I already have and the ones that I could have with age, and well then also the fact that my metabolism is going to keep slowing, I need to do something!!!

 OH! Let's not even mention the arms. They look like thighs attached to my shoulders...thick at top and tiny, tiny at the bottom! And GHADS! I have bat wings! I will let you in on a secret though....I had bat wings when I was 10! Yep, I have always had larger arms. They get larger when I work out and well the bat wings go no where. They got worse after having my first child. I was 128, then zoomed to 182 with the first one, so when I lost all the weight skin stayed. So I never really loose those darn things. I always have toned arms, isometrics work wonders. BUT in the last two years the same thing that has happened to my thighs has happened to my arms. RIPPLES! I see them, even with the dark tan. I want to lift weights, but that bulks me up quickly, they most certainly do not need to get bigger! So again I need to make a change obviously to how in the past I toned my arms, but not bulk up.


Then there is the flap I call my belly! Three kids, huge weight loss = saggy skin. I LOVE my waist! But it goes un-noticed cause of the mini pot belly that goes up and down like a blow fish depending on what I eat and what time of the month it is. I can do loads of crunches, leg lifts etc. and my waist will get smaller, and I will get a 4 pack....but the lower half remains a keg! But I have noticed it is expanding to a bit more than ever before. It is changing. Has a life of it's own! I need to nullify it and make it retreat!

 So, changes. What are they and what needs to be done to achieve them. Obviously my diet. They , (who are THEY anyway??? ) say give up sugar...dear Lord I love my sweets! But I need to cut back. Alcohol ...I love a glass of wine to unwind. My husband and I love our wine tasting outings. But I guess I need to dial back. I need to get my fiber, but give up all the carbs...UM easier said than done....hard to get enough fiber without carbs, but also I love my breads and pastas...I swear for the most part I only eat the healthy ones, but they still add to my bulk. I need to drown myself in water , I know I do not drink enough strait water....hard to do when you are a middle aged woman unless there is a bathroom near by! CONSTANTLY! I need to write down every bite...it really does help, otherwise I just get out of hand with my portions, I do love food and can eat all day! I need to get up earlier or break down and go to the gym here in our apartment complex to beat the heat. OR find an exercise DVD that I actually like and well that with my Fibro I can do! So many changes need to be made. I am sure even my stress levels would come down if I did all this as well as the fact that it would keep my moods more level. But these , right now all seem like HUGE changes. And it would be so easy to put them off, keep saying " I'll start Monday..or after the next big event" . SO I decided to follow a tip I read online yesterday and make it public. Hence this post today!

So Day ONE! Today, not a Monday, not worried about events that are looming. I got up, I did two miles and had coffee and yogurt with fruit for breakfast and as soon as I finish this , will start the floating process with the water. I am making myself accountable to you....my readers, and to myself . So here is the day one pic....

Yeah I know it is not bad looking, THANKS! for the compliment, but I can see what needs to change , and besides I already posted the playground pics so that really shows day one! From time to time I shall post an update. And to embarrass myself further , here is the measurements....

 Neck: ( did you know you can tell you are loosing weight if you measure your neck, even if it shows nowhere else??) 12"
 Back /chest: 35.5"
 Waist: 27" ( would like back to 26-26.5)
 Hips: 39.5 " ( this will not come down much cause of the hills LOL ) 
Thighs: 21" ( hoping for 20.5 , would love 20")
Arms : 12 " ( would love to see 11)
Weight......EEEEK GHADS 132 LBS ( would love to see 125...but realistically even 127 would make me do a happy dance!!!)

So there you have it ! Never thought , outside private letters and a Weight Watchers meetings or even a Spark People group from time to time I would share all this, but if going public is what it takes......

OH and promise that tomorrow a post about decor!