Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sometimes I think I look too hard for things that are to bring me pleasure. That is how we are wired for the most part, to expect bigger, better , sometimes ground shaking . We often forget that simple things, a birds song, a rainbow, the sent of your favorite flower, or the hot cup of tea enjoyed while reading a good book. I have always enjoyed simple things...even mundane things, but I think I take them for granted and therefore loose the pleasure aspect of it all; looking for something more. I hope that makes some kind of crazy sense.
I often put pressure on myself , because of the sub text of my blog to provide to my readers a plethora of pleasurable things, and well then muse upon them. I do it to myself, I know that all of you do not put that kind of pressure on me. But I often think to myself, "Is checking in on Tuesdays a musing on the pleasures of life??" ..."Should I drop the sub text to my blog so the pressure drops and then I can muse on anything, does anyone care?" ..."does it make my blog stand out?" Yeah, I speak inside my head a lot when I am on my walks, it is often the only way I get through them . I enjoy my own company ( yippeee that is a French Girl Lesson MUST) , but it does get tedious.
There is another blog with my same title, WHAT ARE THE ODDS??? She has not written since May and has few followers...but I always wonder what makes someone look for me and not for hers now that I know she is out there. Is my blog simply more pleasurable ? But if it is , why do I have so many readers and not that many comments. I know, I know, I have been over this, and over it again. I guess I am a comment junkie, odd since I read so many blogs and often do not comment, well unless the poor soul has no comments and then I feel compassion ( not to be mistaken for pity) and leave one. I find it pleasurable, to know my blog is being read....so chalk that up to a simple pleasure, at least in my life...one that I did not even really realize how much I cared about or how much pleasure it brought me on a regular basis.
Then there is the pleasure of just putting my thoughts down in this blog...recently because NOTHING is happening in my life on a daily basis, I have had writers block, how do you blog about nothing?? I did a post like that a couple weeks back. It ceases to be pleasurable to do the blog, seems like a chore, seems like an obligation. I am concerned that no comments mean I have lost readers cause it is no longer all about decor on the cheap, or fashion day to day. I have not had an adventure in a couple of weeks cause my hubby is working non stop and well my car with with our youngest so not too many adventures to be had in a walking distance....never mind being very, very broke till we get back on our feet.What money I did have to spare, I bought two high end things and though very happy with them, ( the whole FG thing , buy less, but buy the best in play) it makes it so I do not have even have spare change on me past my daily coffee money. So I am left with a post on Tuesdays that I am not sure anyone is reading or caring about...and Friday's French Girl posts, that are a hit, but in so many ways do not fit what the theme of the blog started out as and so I have lost some readers because of it. Anyway, in the last month, I had lost touch with WHY I was writing this blog. I write it for me, because I get pleasure from typing out my thoughts. It helps me clear my head of the "buzz" that is always going on. So , I need to STOP looking so hard and really take in the pleasure of it all, no matter how simple it is.
Something else that brings me pleasure in life, (and it is TOTALLY MUNDANE!) is my morning cup of coffee. Not so much the actual coffee. It is ok. I go to the local Chevron most mornings to get my coffee...1.49 for a medium. It is ritual. I do my walk, aim to always have the near end of the walk go by the Chevron closest to my apartment and go in and get a medium coffee, real cream ( two BIG shots from the pump) and two Splenda packets. Chevron has coffee cards. Five stamps and you get a freebie. I like free. Sure it is only worth a 1.49 to me, but when you are on a nothing budget , that really counts! I find this ritual each day very pleasurable. I look forward to it. The people that work there are polite and smile at me and sometimes makes small talk, although not often as it is a busy place. But there is this one older lady. She is rather gruff. The first time I met her she was rather snarky to the young lady that was my walking partner at the time. My friend had taken two cups instead of a coffee sleeve, as the coffee sleeve does little to protect us from the hot coffee. The clerk said rather in a snippish way that my friend would have to pay for that extra cup. I understood this, as I had once sold coffee for a living. But it was rather rude or as I said snarky ( love that word) in the way it was said to my friend...she took offense at it. I explained it and smoothed her feathers.
I see this clerk several times a week. I decided to always smile, always say "Good Morning" and then "Have a great day" and I do this each time ...no matter how grumpy this woman is. One day she said Good Morning back, in a rather abrupt, no smile, I am too busy, this is automatic and I get paid to say it way. As she rung me up, stamped my card and I said my usual farewell , she said it back to me. It was rather like hearing Scrooge say it to someone. Again , she was getting paid to be polite. I continued with this. She continued in her way. Each day. Then one day she took my coffee card , and she double stamped it and handed it back . I was in shock. I thought , how kind...there is a soft spot there in her heart. Then it happened again, this time with three stamps and the coffee was free that day....click, click, click " you're good " she said, and rushed back to bagging corn dogs that had just come out of the oven. My husband was still trying to run his debit card..."your done, BYE" . Hubby in shock , and me a bit as well, left saying "thank you and have a wonderful day" .
I had not seen her a lot since that happened. I started a new card, was up to two stamps on it this week, today was to be my third, and she was in a hurried rush as always , trying to take care of customers, brew coffee, bag up chicken sandwiches...there was beepers going off everywhere. I put my cup down, scanner bar towards her, coffee card and cash out, I told her no rush, I understood and would be patient till she could ring me up and said I had worked fast food once and knew what it was like to be one person who had to do it all . She smiled at me, actually smiled, and made a bit of small talk with me. She rung me up, handed me the change, and then stamped all my spots....three clicks! She comment " Amazing how quickly your card fills up" ...I did not even get it, I just said it was , and said "thank you", and told her " try to survive your day and have a good one ...see you tomorrow." It then dawned on me what was said. I got home , after smiling the whole way , cause well I had gotten her to smile, checked my card....sure enough my card is full, coffee tomorrow will be free.
Now I do not know if this happens to a lot of people , does she pick favorites or is it just me cause I am kind to her, each day, no matter what she is like? Or am I making too much of this and she hates my sunshine and just wants to get me the heck out of there ! Either could be true. All I know is this simple act, worth 1.49 every week or two brings me a wonderful amount of pleasure and makes me smile all day just to think about it. I do not want to take this for granted, I want to savor this moment and really soak it in. THIS is a simple pleasure, and it means as much as if it was something HUGE and earth shaking. THIS is worth sharing in hopes that in doing so it might inspire you the reader to go out and smile at someone you normally would find abrasive, or would just not even really pay much attention to. To pass on the kindness of a "Have a great day" and really mean it. To be patient while in line , realizing sometimes the clerks are doing the best that they can do. You just never know when that good Karma will come back to you and though you should not do it for that reason alone, it is not a bad side effect and when it happens, it is one of life's pleasures.