Though I am a Christian, believe in God etc , tarot and fortune telling of any kind has always been a curiosity of mine. I really do not hold much stock in it. I do not practice it. But every so often I get a reading in my email, and it hits a cord. With everything that has been going on the one I received on Monday seemed to speak to me. It screamed at me that I was stuck in a horrible loop...and if I stayed on the course, like driving in one of those round-abouts and missing the exit, or being on a merry go round, I would be doomed to keep going in the same darn circle in my life over and over. This is not what I want for my life. But like so many when you get stuck it is hard to get past fear, worry and doubt and hop off and just let it all go, move past it all, and leave it to just happen, whatever IT is .
While I was struggling with this, a new friend was trying very hard to get me to see I was attracting all that was happening, willing it to happen, even if I did not mean to. I was basically telling the Universe that I wanted life to suck as that is what I expected things to be like, as that is what they had been in the past. She told me that she wanted me to be more positive. But if you have ever been beaten down as much as I had, you know how easy it is say you will do better, though ever so hard to actually act on it. We had these discussions back and forth, she left comments on my blog encouraging me to be more positive. I was making two steps forward and four back most days...spinning my wheels. Then one day when I came home, shortly after there was a knock on my door. It was UPS, a delivery from Amazon. Inside the package was The Law of Attraction book . There was a note about hoping I would do the exercises. I wrote her a note on FB and promised her I would .
Now I have read The Secret , given it was a few years ago, after seeing something on it on Oprah. I tried to follow it, but failed on being able to close my eyes and do the envisioning and well it was wordy and a lot to take in. The only thing I mastered was inspiration boards and note books. As you know if you have been reading, I still do them. I like the process of making them. I find it calming. I also truly believe they were instrumental in getting us the house we wanted back here in CA, but that may also be the reason I gave up on such things, when it was all lost I lost my faith in LOA and even God and especially myself and my husbands ability to have anything positive actually stick for longer than a year. That is our life history since being married, good times come, and then in one swoop of the universes hand , after about a year , maybe two tops it all comes to a screeching halt. So you can see where I might have a huge rolling of the eyes where this stuff is concerned. BUT I had promised her.
So last night, I lit the Christmas tree lights ( yes, gave in and decorated) put on the kettle for a cup of tea and turned on the Christmas music station and got to work. I grabbed a note book ( have I mentioned how much I love notebooks?) my colored markers and sat with my cat at my feet for warmth and opened to the first chapter. I did not put it down. Two hours later I had read it cover to cover, underlining, making notes, filling up my notebook with exercises from the pages . Chapter by chapter. Like the book said "I feel better now" that I released a huge amount of the negative, made the turn, put a halt to the worry, stress, and fear in dealing with our situation. In doing one of the exercises where we are to record proof of good things of the LOA working, I went back to this past month.
In this past month even with all the bad, negative things, there was a lot of good. Our identity stolen and bank account wiped out, a good friend gives us the same amount, and a bit more to replace it. Another friend sent money, and our oldest daughter did the same. Then our middle daughter did as well. I was gifted a free massage from a new friend that had only "known" me online for a week....during the massage the therapist said she would gift me one more session. We received a gift card to a local market and with it were able to buy a 21 pound turkey and a few other groceries...and so we are eating well this week. We managed to save enough money on our groceries and with the help from friends and family, bills and rent were paid. The church we went to may not have given us monetary help, but the box of food was a gift, and there was things we would use ( well except Tuna Fish eww) My friend sent me the book, and last night after posting my intentions, another friend is now sending me a book that helped her as well.
There is good things all about , the Universe or God or both, or perhaps they are one in the same, has been trying to show me that a life line was cast, I just needed to take it, be grateful and accept more of the life lines as they are cast instead of ignoring them or belittling them. I felt pretty stupid for a time while I stared at my notebook and all that I had written in it. Realizing that even though I was putting up "road blocks" keeping myself on that round about, good things were still happening.
So starting today I am going to do my best to accept, attract and utilize the LOA, and am working on, in the process of getting my hubby to do the same...power in pairs...and just let it go. Just as people keep telling me to give it all to God, and then we will be blessed, I am going to do just that and one better and give all to the Universe as well. That is not to say that it is not going to be hard, and there might be set backs, but I shall make every effort to change the vibe I send out and instead of all the negatives ( and if I catch myself doing so will change my mind speak right then) do my best to pull in only positives.
*Disclaimer. I do not practice in the occult or put power into occult practices/thoughts. I do believe however that messages from God often come from unexpected places and if it is positive I am going to embrace it. I also find all religions and practices fascinating to learn about, and explore. But in doing so does not mean I am turning my back on Christ.