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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Don't Stand So Close !

 Ok NO, this is not the words to the song by The Police. I do not have a stalker , and there is not some weird person in a line that stood so close I felt compelled to write a blog. But what am I talking about? Mirrors. Well more to the point, mirrors and wearing your glasses in  proximity of one another. I made this horrid mistake last night! I have tried to think of a title all day. Many came to mind, such as "Never ever do that again" , "What the H** were you thinking, "Ignorance is bliss" ..well you get the general idea of theme here.

Normally I leave my glasses near the computer, or they are on my night stand, or perhaps in a moment of age related or fibro fog, around my neck or on my head; never on my eyes! I like the light in my bathroom, it is just enough to brush my teeth and fix my hair. If I do not squint too hard I think I am looking pretty good. 

Of course I am not delusional. I know I have gray hair, could not miss it when I skipped coloring for nearly a year and a half. I know I have a few fine lines, ok I have a few deep ones too. I have freckles, hey that is what I choose to call them...let me have that at least. I even have pimples ( so not fair!!) I know that my teeth are what they are, and there is nothing I can do about that, though have been teaching myself to smile showing only the smallest amount needed to not be accused of a grimace or smirk. I know there are a few issues with sag and bag. I am nearly 45 it is going to happen. I have choked down accepted that, certainly can not do anything about it, if I could afford that I would have my teeth done and my breasts lifted and my stomach...ok getting carried away with it now....YES, I am aging and I am dealing best I can. If it bothered me so much you would not have to see half the no make up, tried this cream, did not like that cream, what hair color removes 10 years type of photos. 
So, what did I see that shocked me to the point that I shall try never to see it again? Why did I have my glasses on, the number 200's while I stood in front of not just any mirror, but the small one with the magnifying side facing me? And what the heck does this all have to do with my pursuit of happiness that has been the theme since the beginning of the new year? (AH, did not think I could fit that in did you??) Well I am going to tell you. 

Remember when I wrote way back in January that I was going to work on me as part of my challenges for the year, and part of trying to be happy despite my physical issues, and well let's face it money issues ( YES, I do believe $$ can add to happiness, it added to mine when I had it!) , well so last night was working on that. I decided to pluck my brows. I can not see to do this. I used to have them waxed, that 8.00 every couple of weeks adds up and well has to go towards food on the table now, so I pluck my own. Normally I stand on a sunny day, with the normal side of the mirror and get the ones I can see, the strays...the ones that creep towards one another and try to join forces to create a bridge across from one to the next. But this was a late night pluck. NO! I do not have any idea why I was possessed to try such a just sort of happened, innocently when I went in to try to brush teeth ( I say try cause weather has them hurting so badly brushing brings me to tears if you recall what I posted the other day...YES I do still brush despite the pain...EWWW!) , and oddly I had my glasses on my face. 

I grabbed the mirror and put it on the window sill, and still could not see in the dim light, so I flipped to the magnifying side. Dear Lord! Not only did I see woolly mammoths growing above my eyes, and starting to spread down towards the lids, but flaky skin all over my face. I looked like something out of a horror flick, skin peeling all over the place like that. OH and to make matters worse it was all covered in a soft peach fuzz, long enough in places I felt I could trim it with my husbands beard trimmer...I just stared at myself. Who the heck took the me that I know and am doing so well at accepting ( hush now! ) and replaced it with this skin on my face that was a mix of pimples and peach fuzz and why was it flaking off ??? 

 I took my glasses off again , and "WHEW" there I was. But I had to be brave, I had to pluck the brows. I finished them as fast as my tearing eyes and sneezing would allow ( what you don't do that?) and ripped the glasses off my face. I wet a rag and I scrubbed   exfoliated my face, careful to avoid the teen age like blemishes that dotted all the usual areas when hormones are raging, ( being the only reminder of my youth I do not care for as far as looks) and then I slathered on tons of night cream, scraping what was left in the jar I found in the bottom of the drawer with a mini silicone spatula ( hey they work great!!) and when I could touch my face and the peach fuzz was glued down and I could only feel creamy smoothness on my face, I padded off to bed and allowed myself to imagine myself as I truly wish I looked like when I looked in the mirror....

And I was happy once more! Hey it is my journey to find happiness, let me be delusional for that brief moment, ya know glass half full thing??? So till tomorrow, or when I find the motivation to get back to serious topics.......remember when you are half blind and in front of the mirror it is a blessing and if you have to put your glasses on DON'T STAND SO CLOSE!


  1. I am right there AHEAD of you girl!! You made me laugh.....and I so needed that. Here I am going to school with all of these youngsters....thinking I have a chance of getting a job over them....and then I look in the mirror. I can only smile and get back at it....because at least we have the KNOWLEDGE Stephanie...that has got to be worth something. xoxoxoxo God you made me smile. xoxoxox Thanks for your post.

  2. Ha...I avoid the mirrors in my mom's basement bathroom because they show me too much! The lighting is VERY bright and I'm able to see every single hair I miss on my brows! Not to mention all the "whiskers" I get to have from mild PCOS! Go figure! Oh and it certainly doesn't take glasses! POO


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