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Thursday, February 24, 2011

God's Messages-Often Come in Odd Ways.

Every night, I say a prayer. Actually I write it, and read it back after doing so. Hoping that somehow in that practice that it will be heard. The prayer changes. Some nights it is about pain of others being taken away, at times for my children and anything they are facing. Of course I pray that my husband's job turns around, that he stops feeling like a failure because our life is currently on the path that it is. It goes without saying that I pray for relief from the physical pain I feel. I often even laugh at myself when I do, as I feel I am beating a dead horse with that prayer. I am tired of praying for it, tired of the plea being in my blog, and telling others. I just want to be normal. Just when I come to terms with it all, accept it and desire to move on no matter what the future holds,wake up with the notion to remove the plea off my blog and concentrate on being ok with myself...I receive a message. At time it comes from a new friend. Other times it comes in the form of a quote, or a show I see, sometimes, and please do not think me crazy, but it comes as a voice in my head that tells me not to give up and in to trying.



For days now I have been in a funk. I did not want to write a blog because I wanted to continue the funny theme, even if a bit self bashing ( hey better than bashing others...enough sad people out there doing that). Nightly I would come up with wonderful titles. I would come up with an outline and even chuckle to myself. In the morning however I would get up, click on the blog, fog would move into my brain and all ideas would dissipate. I would stare at a blank screen and just click it off and go back to the couch or out for a walk. A new friend asked what the underlying sadness under my cheer was. I realized I was really not fooling anyone, except myself of course. I personally blamed it on hormones. They are raging at the moment. So I can hardly be blamed for my emotions being all over, seeping out at the edges...no matter how hard I try to stuff them all down, put them in a box and let God handle it.



Today, was no different as far as how it started...battling a cold, raging hormones, stuck in four walls cause of cold weather , brain fog thick as ever. I fixed my coffee, grabbed a bite to eat, not really in the mood for either. I watched my recorded Gayle King show...and then too stir crazy to watch more tv, logged on to the computer. I took care of of my Twitter. Got rid of all the spammers and collectors...really once again wishing my followers would chat back! Say hello. I logged onto Facebook, and I was scrolling down when I saw a post from The Oprah Show.


It had a link and it said this was "my" chance, my last chance for Oprah to "hook me up" ! I was just praying last night to the good Lord as to what I should do about what I had been praying for. Should I change it? Was I on the right path? Should I not really give up, but change the tactic that I had been using as it had not been working. Nothing in that area of life had really changed. Should I simply concentrate on being happy and accepting my health and doing what I could for myself. I was truly ready to just do that...wanted to do that...needing to concentrate on other things....so many other things are truly more important than if I have teeth or not. It seems that God has different plans. So though it may be a long shot, I clicked on the link, and I wrote in again. I guess it is all about not giving up, or in...not letting go of your dreams no matter how big they are, no matter how out of the box , no matter how unreachable it may seem.

So here once again the link to write into The Oprah Show...even if you do not write in for me. I am giving it here for you to write in for yourself, your friend, family member, someone in your community or even your favorite charity....everyone should reach for their dreams to come true, never giving up or in!


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