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Monday, February 28, 2011

An "F" for February

Now out in Paperback on Amazon and in stores a copy!!!
So here we are, the day before March 1st, and ready to discuss my assignment to myself based on The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I gave myself an "F" ..I really did not work on it as hard as I should have. It is not the books fault. I love the book, and I am getting happier each day by trying to impliment some of the changes to my life, reading the Daily Dose of Happiness in my email box, the authors Tweets and FB posts and newsletter and watching the You Tube Videos...HOWEVER this past month, I did not even re-open the book to the February chapter. was an odd month for me. I was happy....but at times began to wonder if I was not just in a fog. Like I mentioned four days ago, did not seem to even be able to write my blog. The one thing that really occupies my time day to day besides my walks, talk TV and laying in a sunny spot should Mother Nature provide one. We made it through it. Hubby and I. Really no better off or worse off than we were in January. That I guess is saying something.

The assignment was ....
Quit Nagging
Don't Expect Praise Or Appreciation 
Fight Right
No Dumping
Give Proofs of Love

Quit Nagging:
The only thing I truly nag my husband about is trying harder to get us out of the financial situation we are in. Then when I do, I spend a week feeling guilty about it because I do not work. I do not do much of anything what with the fibromyalgia at times making me a bump on the proverbial pickle. He works six days a week now, 12-14 hour days, and never complains, well at least to me. And when I do nag, he says " I know" and "Yes, I need to make it happen" ...anything to make the nagging lecture stop and to placate me. But that is my darling husband. That is who he is. So as I did one evening "nag' him, I did not get a very good grade on that.

 Don't Expect Praise Or Appreciation : I never expect it. Do not do too much to earn it really. *see above. On occasion he will tell me that I cooked a good dinner ( most nights it is a reheat, or all I did was plan and serve and he helped cook it. ) .I do like a compliment, like him telling me how slender I am looking or if I actually am not in PJs when he comes home , that I look nice. But I gave up years ago expecting it. I never even expect him to ask how my day went...even when I had a life outside of four walls. I always ask him....anyway, would not have an answer for him past "fine, same as usual" . So hard to grade on this.

Fight Right: We don't fight. We discuss. I guess that is right. More to the truth of the matter, I discuss and he sits quietly and when he does say something, he placates me . Even when I am hormonal and really upset and fight with him  at him , he does not least not too often, can count the times on one hand. So I guess we get a passing grade on this.

No Dumping: Hmmm, ok this is the one that I get an "F" on. I am a big dump truck of dumping. Not one to keep things inside, hold back, wearing my heart on my sleeve, I let it go all the time, dumping till he is buried. I mean what do you expect after the last two years, living with fibro, arthritis, peri-menopause(10 years or more now) ,teeth on the verge of falling out, and stuck in the four walls with no body but the cat and Oprah on Tv to talk to. OOPS! Sorry...see, I fail big time. Heck my blog is often a dumping ground. I know I am not alone, and often times it is the hormones taking over , can hardly blame the guy for tuning me out and working 6 days a week.  I want to escape me at times as well.

Give Proofs of Love: Oh I am good at this one. I try to keep the apartment clean, his clothing washed,dried and folded. On occasion I cook a wonderful meal, if I buy a small treat I try to remember to share. I gave him a Valentines day card and I always ask how his day went, even if I know it is all about cars and customers. I ask...that is love. OH and once I even scooped the litter pan and Fabreezed his room ! I always tell him I love him, and use terms of affection even when I was nagging. So my grade can not be all that bad. Maybe I need to revise my over all grade....but of course then the title would not work. 

March being tomorrow, I have a new chapter to hurry up and read. Study and get to work on. It think it may be a bit easier. UM, "why" you ask. Well it is all about work. And well as I clearly stated above, I don't. Not even in the home. No more kids to care for. The apartment is small and the chores are smaller. So what are the assignments and how can I gear them towards me ? Well let's take a look.

Launch a Blog
Enjoy the Fun of Failure
Ask for Help
Work Smart
Enjoy Now

Launch a Blog: Yep, um got that covered. Perhaps I can clear out the fog and write more. Wouldn't that count? 

Enjoy the Fun of Failure: Ok I have this covered. I did not win Publishers Clearing House today. Oh I tried. I had FUN writing out my intent in my journal, pasting the entry stubs in it. Talking about what we would do when PCH knocked on the door.Even dressed the part, ya know like the woman who thought about winning the Lotto , and the day of, she dressed the exact way she imagined and then she won! Welp, some lady in Arkansas or Alabama won. Yep, saw it on Facebook. My one million dollars for life ( just under 600k after taxes) is now in someone elses life. The universe is cruel. Really makes the whole LOA thing that I have been doing to try to also feed my happiness project seem like a farce. BUT , not giving up or in. In March, I could win 10 million all at once. I would be quite happy, even after taxes. So shall start again....and have fun doing it and should I um , ok will not say it, as that would not be very LOA, I will have fun in it. Yep, reaching here.

 Ask for Help: Oh I ask. I ask Oprah. I ask Ellen, I ask friends, strangers...people on Twitter. I am shameless. Not what it means you might say. Well again I do not work so have to make it fit. So will keep doing it and well hopefully it will make me happy. In my day to day life, have always been lousy asking for help. Even with chronic pain, I am a do it yourself kind of gal, and well that is what I do most days. Even when my hubby protests. Though before he reads this and says that just last night I made him do it when I said I would ( um meaning re-heating food and folding towels) I had a good excuse, the Oscars were on and I was tweeting my opinions about the fashions and trying to win a gift basket, which I did not, cause I read question number two wrong and gave too many for number three trying to be a smarty pants.

 Work Smart: I guess I could do as I am now. Not have the TV on, stopping to check Twitter and Facebook as if my life depended on every new post. Not get up and start flipping through the stack of magazines that thank God for payments I was able to sub to for entertainment when Twitter and Facebook are slow and to kill time till Oprah is on at four. I could get my "work" done on my blog and in the apartment right off the bat and that would be smart because then I would be happy and well have more time to devote to other things.

  Enjoy Now: I have been working so very hard on this. Each day. Some are easier than others. I enjoyed "now" when we got our tiny tax return and I went to Khols and found T shirts marked down  and a box of briefs in my size , also marked down. I enjoyed "now" when the week before that, after saving for sometime...ok two weeks, I went to Forever21 and bought a handful of 1.99 earrings in girly pink and then found a T at Old Navy marked down as well and felt so grand with a couple shopping bags in my hands on my walk home...yes I really enjoyed that..or the finding of plain cake doughnuts at the local grocery store and then seeing to my excitement there was a chocolate sprinkle cake doughnut..and they were brewing Light Kona..yes I did enjoy that "now". I however did not enjoy the now that happened when I saw that woman on FB winning my PCH money. Yep, I guess that is where I need to learn to have fun with failure. 

So we will see how I continue to master the March assignment and if anything changes in the next 31 days....well besides me having a 24 year old child on the last day...dear lord they just need to stop aging if they are not going to give me grandbabies...OOPS! Did I write that? There goes the dumping thing again. Darn!! 



  1. I always come here for your honesty of life, Ruby. Keep being you!! I am listening...and I think of you often.

    This Happiness Project just sounds so cool.

  2. The Happiness Project sounds very interesting. Here's to hoping that more sunshine in March will add cheer and that happy little unexpected things will happen in this new month on your walk to spring, Ruby. Hugs xoxo


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