I wish to thank you all my loyal readers and the newest of you that have joined me on my journey through life that I post here in my little corner of the cyber world. I wish to thank you for all the uplifting comments, emails and even the silent, unspoken prayers. Thank you for staying with me while the blog has gone on many twists and turns, ups and downs and so many evolutions that I can not keep count. As my blog has done this, so has my life as a Mother, and I am sure it will continue to do so. It is always a learn as I go experience as is my posts to this blog.
In the last week I have experienced every emotion possible, from elation and pride to sorrow, regret and twinges of guilt as well as even perhaps anger. That is motherhood isn't it? No one ever told me it would be easy, or that I would always enjoy it, just that I would never regret it, and those people were correct. Stress as a mother is always there, it is just how you handle it. When I was a young mother, having my first child before the age of 21 and my third before the age of 25, being basically a mere child myself I made horrid mistakes. I still have many regrets, but have made my peace and my apologies. I still am making mistakes, they just are not so horrid now...thank goodness. I do not know how not to be a parent, and I guess at times my daughters do not need me to be so, they now are ready for a friend...of course as in any journey the path can then twist back and forth and I find that they desire a parent/mother again to lean on. I have seen many examples of the ying and yang of that in the last few months.
As you may remember I have our two oldest daughters getting married this year, one in just over a month! During this same time the oldest is moving back to California in about three weeks, and into the same apartment complex as us, and as I just found out our youngest will be moving back out of the nest right around the very same time...that part was a bit blind siding for myself and her Father. It was even a bit hurtful when hearing some of the reasons, though I did ask and expected and suspected the answers. Daily it seems I have been called on to be both friend and parent, and well I guess I have gotten the two confused on a regular basis and been ruffling some feathers so to say. Oh it passes quickly, and all is right with the world again, but when I am informed that I have done so it stings and leaves a bit of a lasting mark on my heart. The girls do not mean to do so, it is all just part of parenthood.
I guess it does cause me to be rather introspective on who I am, how I act and what my role is in their lives, especially with all three moving on with the next chapters of their lives and I do not know even what my next chapter is. I suppose with a holiday like Mother's Day, it is only natural for this all to be on ones mind. All we Moms can do is try our best to roll with the punches and go with the flow and be ready to wear the different hats that our children require of us...and be thankful to them that they still wish me to follow/join them on their journey and wear those different hats...just as I thanked you for following/joining my journey here on this blog.
*all images found doing google searches for Mother's day, Vintage Mother's Day and photos of Mother's circa 1920's
Thank you for sharing your beautiful self.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day Ruby!
Diana
www.shocolaate.com
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I completely relate to what you have written. Thank you for sharing your heart. Happy Mother's Day!
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