Positively Me ~ A Ruby's Musings by Request Post

In a recent post to my Facebook page I asked my readers what they would like to know about me, or what they would like me to blog about in general past the French Girl Friday posts. One question from a few of them was " How do you stay so positive despite everything...." , the funny thing is I really never considered myself a positive person... optimism has never been a strong suit, but rather a follow up to a complete melt down.   My husband always having been the glass is half full, the sun will come out tomorrow type of guy, I guess has rubbed off on me, since it seems the older that I get the more I see the sunny side of things myself. That all being stated I have never let life stop me, not for long that is. 

There is plenty of times this was my thought
when my husband was being so darn positive! 

   

My first reaction when something is not going
my way, or bad news comes at me..... OR
when my husband says " It will all be ok" 

It is not always easy to brush off the bad feeling,
or the physical pain I feel on a daily basis ....

Eventually, given a bit of time and self reflection,
and at times a momentary break down of my
composure, I am able to pull myself up by
the proverbial boot straps and smile, maybe even laugh
though whatever is going on in my environment,
with my emotions or physical self.

So what do I do to move past whatever is put in my way of happiness? I do not have a single answer for that, guess it depends what it is. I guess one thing that pulls me through to the other side is the deep down eagerness to please and make others happy, to do so, and avoid disappointing others in what they seem to need from me. My family say I am the rock, that I pull them together and see them through, of course I think they say that to placate me. So often, having all the issues I have I feel quite useless and as if the Earth could suck me in and no one would notice, when I allow myself to voice that, their standard responses are that I am the glue. Same goes for everyone on my FB page, I feel so many look to me to put a smile on their face, lift their spirits, pull them through tough times by posting pretty photos, uplifting quotes and just sharing of myself. Some would say that it is all superficial, but I have heard from some on occasion, though it is far and few between, that it makes a difference, that I inspire them. I feel if I can do that for just one person here and there and then they turn around and do it for someone etc etc ; knowing that and actually carrying that with me day in and day out, when often I feel like just walking away from not only the page, or this blog , not wanting to disappoint them really does turn things around for me, and rather quickly. If I let myself get sucked down into the muck of life, I would be letting my family and followers down... remember I said I was a people pleaser. 

Knowing that others count on me
is a driving force to not stay down
for long. 

Ok so right now you are saying "That can not be the only things..."  while it is a huge part of how I am able to muster through another day, sometimes another moment, no it is not the only thing that keeps me positive. Stubbornness. I feel as if I have had to fight back against life for as far back as I can remember ( if you go under LABELS and click PERSONAL there are posts from about 4 years back that will fill in a lot of blanks) and I guess I am just too stubborn to give in and let life win! I do not like to give in or up and I certainly hate loosing and I feel to wallow for more than a few hours or even a day would be doing just that. Life, no matter how hard it gets is a gift and it is precious and not to be wasted on letting it smash me down and out. I have seen so many friends let life go over them like a steam roller, never able to see anything positive about their life, and end up either taking their own life or coming close to it. Yes it is exhausting to keep fighting what often seems a loosing battle, but so many times when I have been right on the brink of just pulling the covers over my head and calling it a day ( not the type to take my own life) or a year, something beautiful happens, a light that at the end of the tunnel that is not a train moving full steam ahead towards me. Sometimes it is something so very simple, such as a kind word, and other times it is a grand gesture or a life line in the last hour filling a need or even a desire. Many times it is a brief moment of laughter, or being too busy to notice pain, even though it has not truly gone away. There are other times when I expect the worst only to have nothing truly bad or unmanageable happen, and it gives me the momentum to move forward. 

Some days simply soaking in the rays of
sunshine....

...or the scent of fresh baked cookies
can turn a bad moment or day around
and give you momentum to push through things
if you allow it to. 

I guess what pushes me, drives me, gets me though and makes me able to be more positive is just making the choice, flipping that switch. Be it people pleasing or being stubborn that triggers the change in my outlook's direction, the point is, the most important thing is, it happens and the longer I am on this earth, the easier it seems to get, and that in itself is a feel good moment. Not everyone is capable of making it so easy on themselves, I know people like that... they have not found what could drive them to be able to be more positive in life, I get that, sometimes it is hard to see the forest through the trees. I think we owe ourselves to find our way to doing so, life is too short  not to. I can say that with personal knowledge, as I wasted a lot of my life on and off getting lost in the negative. My daughter said today as we clicked to watch a video on FB of a baby laughing, " Sometimes just laughing is enough to turn the whole day around...." I really do think it could be just that simple. If we can find something to laugh at, even if it is at ourselves, or instead of crying even the toughest of circumstances can take on a more positive light and feeling. 

If you have a subject matter you would like me to blog about ..."Muse" about, leave me a comment, come over to the FB page and leave me a message.... would like to hear from you. It can be on anything. 

Be sure to tell your friends ...spread the word...

*art Mary Horderns paris notes hat fashions 1951