Took a leap today. A leap of faith, and boy have I been saying my prayers. If you are new here, you may not know about my bad dental health( look to the right and you will see Ellen D and my story on that), along with my bad physical health, and now bad financial health...not to mention my self esteem health. Yep, one sick puppy here. But I always feel the need to be proactive; the side bar, "Write Ellen Campaign " proves that. That took a lot, I had to swallow my pride, my dignity. But even if nothing ever happens from it, I had to be proactive. I was surprised when I got so much positive feed back.
I had to make a tough call to a dear friend the other day, finally accept money to see us through another day. I had to accept with grace when it was offered, and the promise to pay it forward a monetary gift to keep the roof over our head one more month. We had to take the leap of faith to call The Salvation Army, to ask for help ( still waiting to hear back) even if we still feel we are not sure we feel comfortable with it , we are always the ones who donates( saving my change now for the red bucket) , not the one who gets donations. We still have calls to make to try to get extensions and allowances of time. I have written letters to friends, families, churches and of course ELLEN! With a leap of faith , and a lot of prayer, we hope we will indeed make it and be ok as many people keep trying to reassure us.
One further leap and one I am saying prayers about, and though might seem trivial in light of needing to pay rent and bills and buy food , but I had to try. I wrote Clear Choice Dental Implants . I told whoever will be the one to receive the email , my story. All of it. Yes, it is a sob story, like the ones you see on Extreme Home Makeover...ok maybe not as bad as some of them , but feeling like it is getting darn close. It is a story I never thought I would be sharing. Having been taught you keep your woes to yourself, that is certainly my husbands way. Knowing that many will look at sharing my story not a good thing, but more of a whining, pitty party type post, looking for sympathy. Of course they will miss the point.
The whole point is that no matter what you are facing, no matter the hardships, you have to often take a leap of faith and continue to pray , even if you think "HE" is not listening or answering. I do not always follow my own advice , often getting caught up in that pity party , but it never lasts long...though recently those days have happened more often. I am not proud of that. I get quiet angry with myself more than my readers do I am sure.
How can I not pull myself up by the boot straps when you see people even worse off or when so many , even people I do not know, write and tell me to not give up? I can not , will not. Do not want to. Besides, with the recent answer to prayers, during what has been a living in Hell moment of life ( even if it did mean me humbling myself and swallowing my pride) how could I not want to take another leap of faith and continue my prayers ! After all you never know when one of them will pay off in a most positive way and that does not just mean monetary.
God Bless those of you who have answered my prayers...you know who you are. And to those that say you did nothing more than say a kind word, offer a virtual hug or add me to your prayer chain, trust me those acts are answers to prayers of not feeling so alone, so thank you !