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Friday, June 3, 2011


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1. Having beauty;  having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.
2.  Delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech.
3. Wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying.
4. Excellent of it's kind
5. ME! YOU!  
This week over on my friend Ashley's blog,The Shine Project (see link button above),she posed the question what was our, the reader's definition of beauty/ beautiful . Then challenged us to think about it and come back today and chat about it in our blogs and link up. Ashley choose as her post to tell what made her week beautiful. Such simple things she listed, heart warming some, all indeed beautiful in their own way. A wonderful reminder that beauty can be found in all, from an event, a word, a gesture or even that perfect item you have always wanted and finally are able to obtain. Beauty and the definition of it as well as beautiful has many meanings and means many things to people. 
When I first read the challenge and was asked to comment on what I thought was beautiful, so many things swam through my head, but as I have been on a journey of self discovery and acceptance of self I wanted to concentrate on what I think makes people beautiful, it is not all on the surface...though I certainly appreciate outward beauty both in people. It made me think first off of a show that often comes on during the Summer that is about seeing and showing one's inner beauty . The premise of the show is to gather pretty/beautiful people in a house under false reasons and then secretly film them to see if they are truly beautiful by their actions and words when they think they are not being watched. Often the most beautiful people are truly the most ugly. I have so very often experienced that in my own life. 
Then it made me think of the book I love to read over and over and quote as much...Queen Of Your Own Life....
Chapter two in the book is titled "Claim Your Inner Beauty And Feel Your Power...or... How To Banish Your Inner Crone " . I will not retype the whole chapter, but the one paragraph that stuck out to me, as I battle my inner crone each and every time I pass a mirror, or when I see a beautiful woman or even when I compare myself to other women I know online.....
" ....We blame everything on that damn magic mirror from the Snow White movie. When the Queen asked,   'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all? ' the mirror said ' Lips red as roses, hair black as ebony, skin white as....blah, blah, blah, It's Snow White. " What if the mirror had said , 'My Queen, why waste your emotional energy on feeling competitive with every other woman in the world? Let's take a look at YOU. You're amazing. You're beautiful, resourceful, creative and you have a real talent for sorcery. Bravo! ' 

"What a different story that would have been !  "  INDEED!

Logically I know this. My husband has told me since we met that I am beautiful. Even if I was being ugly from time to time, he said I was beautiful inside and out. He thinks I am as beautiful when I am in my scruffy clothes, no make up and hair not brushed as I am fully dolled up. He has always said as I have gotten older, suffered more with all my health issues and now face all the dental issues that I do , that " if you get fat, go bald, and loose every tooth in your head, you will always be beautiful to me." He sees my inner beauty. Why can't I ?

Friends have told me over and over that I have an inner beauty that shines brightly from the inside bright, so spectacular. Others have commented on my outer beauty only being rivaled by my inner beauty. Yet when I look in the mirror or see photos of myself, I can not see it. I look at my daughters all beautiful inside and out and know they came from me ( well hubby too) and yet I can not acknowledge my own beauty.

I know what I find beautiful....that is easy. I of course as mentioned am drawn to outer beauty, who isn't ? But for me what makes, what defines beauty is how that person is on the inside. To me beauty is a giving heart, a tender, loving soul. Someone that speaks kind words and truly means it.Acts of kindness without a thought of what it will do or not do for them in the long run. Someone who is humble....

"A dose of humility makes a beautiful woman more irresistible. " Audrey Hepburn 

I could go on and on , but I think you get the idea. All my ideas of true beauty, what makes a person  beautiful is all these qualities and more. I have been told, and I have been working on being, all these. I am truly trying to embrace my inner self more so than the outer shell that seems to be failing me at every turn. it has helped greatly reading the Queen book over and over, as well as spending copious hours on twitter where I have "surrounded" myself with beautiful people...people who are beautiful in all ways....what has surprised me more is how often these same people do not think themselves beautiful and are in deep surprise when I tell them so. It truly has often stopped me in my tracks. They too struggle. They too understand. they may not be going through what I am ( though slowly I have found some indeed are) , they may have money to buy pretty things, and get all the best health and beauty care that they may need or want, but they struggle with beauty as well...they often do not find themselves beautiful. It has helped me in so many ways to not feel isolated and to accept myself more. That in itself seems like a beautiful thing and what really is the definition of beauty and being beautiful.  So perhaps what it all really boils down to is acceptance. Acceptance on all levels. Easier said than done. One I have a feeling I shall struggle with for a very long time...but a struggle I wish to overcome. 
Try this tip that The Queens give in their book....(edited for content)
 "Use this affirmation : ' I am the sum of all my life experiences and I am beautiful beyond measure. I am ready to be the Queen of My Own Life- if not now, when?" '
Write it down, tape it to very mirror in your house, your car.... When you look in the mirror, make eye contact and say the affirmation out loud every single time....."
BELIEVE!!! Believe you are beautiful inside and it will make you feel and look beautiful on the outside too!
The   "Royal Proclamation  "   
"I am Queen of My Own Life and I shall confront that damn talking mirror every day. It will have no power over me. Every time I look into it, I will see myself as the beautiful, intelligent, valuable woman that I am. So says the Queen. "  


  1. Ruby. You never cease to amaze me. PS: Whenever we have a little girl, one's name will be Ruby... Im serious, I love it.

  2. Lovely post Ruby. I've also made a note of the book (sounds like my kind of summer reading). I know from the very short time we have been corresponding via Twitter what an authentic and beautiful soul you have; I don't need convincing ;-)

  3. Hi darlin, love this reflective post on beauty and that book looks amazing! I love The Shine Project's blog - she is just packed full of inspiration! I'm so glad I came across your blog thanks to Fashionista622, I'm a new follower and loving all of your fashion!


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