It Could Be The Law Or....

Six months ago, almost to the day I started implementing the Law Of Attraction. Years ago I had read The Secret , I saw so many changes, but when we lost everything I had wanted in our life, I gave up. Then six months ago when hitting rock bottom in life, health and even in my marriage a friend reached out and sent me the book that had done so much for her, flipping a switch. I decided it was worth a try. I jumped back into LOA. I followed the book word for word, tried to get my husband to do the same. I made my lists, I did vision boards. I repeated the mantra's over and over. I believed (my word for the year) and soon my mood did lift....and amazingly a few things happened that were on my list. Suddenly money when it was needed showed up. Different kindnesses happened that made other things come to be that were on my list. Hope raised a bit. I gave it all my heart and soul to keep the upward swing going.

I had so many road blocks when I did this. Friends turned their backs, saying I was messing with un-Godly practices. Part of  that was I was also paying attention at the time to things like tarot cards...oh not physically, ones that would come into my email via bulk mailings. Astronomy/astrology readings ...again generic readings via emails. It was not that I put stock into such things, not really. But it was messages within that kept me hopeful for change, for improvement in what was going on in our lives. The back lash was something I did not figure on, and it truly did hurt, a lot. It also made my belief in what I was doing waver. I slacked off, and when I did, my husband did as well. Things I was willing to happen also did not happen, and that aided in walking away from even trying. The only thing I did keep up with was my gratitude journal and my praying each night to God....something I had not been real regular with in my life. It helped to do these two things, brought some peace to chaos.It also brought change to my way of thinking, released fears and resign let go of what was, and stop the worry over what might happen. It was freeing.

The more that I began to do this, things started to change. My husband finally got the promotion he wanted and well we needed. Slowly things started to fall back into place for us on many levels. Yes, health is still not the greatest, no I do not have new teeth and well we certainly have not won Publishers Clearing House , so have not been able to buy a home again. But little things like getting to leave the four walls, having a chance to dress up again, becoming more in touch with who I am now and who I want to be. Comfortable in the apartment, (though still would like a home to call our own), making new friends, even if online. Learning to be happy with the day I am living and not always thinking of what might happen the next. Bigger things include being able to pay back our daughter and friend that loaned us money to keep a roof over our head. Having all the rent money for the upcoming month with my husbands first check and not being worried till the next check if we would be able to come up with it. Bills paid, a bit more in the grocery fund, and even being able to take our daughter out to lunch all have been happening. I see a positive change in my husband and I know as time progresses we will be able to rebuild our relationship back to where it was. 

Other changes that have come is a greater appreciation for what I have, what we have. I now admire what others are able to buy and do and their lifestyles, but no longer covet it. I can honestly say I might like to have pretty things and live a more luxury lifestyle, but I no longer really need it , crave it. If it happens, then I truly think it will mean more. That is a huge thing for me. What I once thought I wanted and needed has been replaced with more simple desires. What a blessing that is. The feeling that comes when I can indulge like when I splurged on 10.00 stockings, or a 28.00 bottle of scent that I had desired was more euphoric than when I would spend far more on similar items. The challenge of creating a look for myself and my environment for less is exhilarating! I have always had to do so, but resented it, the resentment is gone. Each bit of life, big and small is so much sweeter...that much more special.

I do not know if how life has changed is simply life itself continuing on, self made, LOA or God or a combo of all of those , but it certainly has proven to me to keep believing and never give up on my dreams or life and myself improving. I know there will be speed bumps, especially as Winter rolls around ( as aches and pains, and seasonal disorder take hold) and a few steps back here and there, but I know what is possible, and it will certainly make me want to build the strength and fight back and carry on.

I will continue to do so.

...and it makes you appreciate it more when it happens.

I will stay strong even when life tries to weaken me.

I will continue to dream!

I will trust that God does not want me to suffer....and that he knows how much I can truly handle.

Faith will build my strength and help me continue to have.....

AMEN!