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Monday, February 27, 2012


Having a group in which to
gather with for a tea party, to share
all the gossip with is a blessing. It
matters not if it happens online or in person.It
is the support and friendship that counts most. 
Throughout the years of my life I have had many girlfriends come and go. When I was a young child I always had at least two or three in my close circle...more when I was a Brownie and then a Girl Scout. Sadly that circle of friends scattered when I moved and as we aged we lost touch over time; all but a couple who found me later in life thanks to facebook. In my new town as a young girl I was very much a square peg in a round hole and it took time to connect with other girls. I managed to find again a few here and there and one or two I am even still connected with, but for the most part, again different life paths lead us away from each other.

Being part of a group of girls
in my childhood assured me of always
having someone around to share with.So
very important to surround yourself with like

With meeting my now husband I gained his friends. As I aged, and became a Mom, friends came and went. When I went to work, the same. We moved again, far away from my home town and friends slowly drifted away. Letters and emails and visits dwindled. We touch base as life allows via facebook and emails...a reoccurring theme. I was blessed enough to create a new circle, for a time I had a lovely support group of women; the biggest I had ever had in the past. As life would have it, our paths went in different directions and mine lead back to California. Oh we keep in touch. Again, a comment on Facebook here and there, a Christmas card when we can remember to send one. I am sure if in a pinch I needed a shoulder to lean on there would be someone, a friend from the past in which to do so, but there is not one here where I am now. 

Always adored one on one girlfriend time
as much as being in a group. Knowing you could
tell that person anything and they would be there.
When I opened the book Queen Of Your Own Life to chapter 5, to continue sharing with you my journey back through the pages, the heading jumped out at me..." BUILD DEEP, FULFILLING FRIENDSHIPS WITH OTHER WOMEN...or....Choosing Your Court." Nothing makes your life situation come charging back at you like bold print. The I hit the proverbial brick wall with a loud, though it be it in my mind, SMACK! How was I to write on this subject? Oh sure I gave you, background of my experiences of friendship..or at least touched on it. But I do not have a single close friend at the moment. Not one that really knows me, no one I see and not even one that lives close to me. Unless you count my daughters...and I rarely see them. There is no one in which to " choose my court" from. 

Friendships for adult women does not come easy. Just ask all of us facebook and twitter addicts that spend far too much time online so that we can have that close circle of friends in which to chat with. I am blessed. I have "met" so many amazing women online that fill my heart and make it soar. So why then can I not find someone in my own town. I think my age and again my path in life rather prevents it. I do not work. I do not attend church, have children or grandchildren. I am not a joiner, and volunteerism is not my cup of tea. I have tried. Truly. I have met some delightful women, women I found via the internet of all places. Some are beyond busy with work, or young children, perhaps a large family to fill their time or have a circle of friends and co-workers so making it hard to fit one more in. Many the passions I have in my life does not mesh with theirs enough to wish to share on a regular basis. Some simply live too far away to see more than once every so many months. 

I am quite sure I one day will have my "court" that lives close by enough to see in person, but until that time happens, I am content with my online one. I have touched on this subject before, and the feedback is always amazing. Such warm thoughts, such truthful ones are shared with me in comments and emails. I am grateful and saddened to know many are in my same predicament. But all I can say is that at least I know I have a support group that understands. I somehow have managed to surround myself, even if it is via the internet with an amazingly spectacular court of fellow "Queens", who I hope know I count each and everyone of them as a blessing...and I am proud to call them my friends for life.

Royal Proclamation

" From this moment forward I will surround myself
with loving, honest, brave, generous and agenda-
free LIW, understanding that, in order to have
great friends, I must be a great friend. It's what
 the Queen wants, what the Queen needs and what
the Queen deserves. Long live the Queen!" 


  1. A coincidence that I'll be spending sone much needed time w my Bestie later on today! True friends are hard to come by!

  2. Do you have an email contact? I started to leave a comment but it was getting long and I felt silly! I'd love to tell you how much I feel the same way and hopefully encourage you (and myself) in the process!

  3. Love you! Even though our lives are so far apart, you're never far from my thoughts!

  4. Hi Ruby! I bet there is a lot of us stay at home mom's and wives out there that agree with you. You are not alone in this situation. I also once had a large circle of friends to go shopping with, lunch with, etc. I decided to take my daughter out of public school and home school in the second grade (she was diag. with OCD) I quite my job as a medical billing coder for a Podiatrist. I devoted all of my time to my daughter. Friends that I thought were friends did not always understand and I was no longer available for certain get together's anymore. I thank God for my hubby and I have one sister who lives only a few streets away, but she works full time. My daughter is 15 now and I still home school. We have a very tight bond, but outside my family I only have my internet friends. It is such a blessing that you share your helps others not feel so alone. I am happy to have met you.

    Thanks for sharing
    Dee xoxo

  5. Miss Ruby, you have spoken to my soul. I know exactly what you are going through. When I grew up, I was a girl scout, active in church, volunteered every weekend, participated in sports and clubs, and I always had a close knit group of friends. As an adult, I tried college for a while but had a difficult time making new friends. As I started working full time, I became more withdrawn and isolated. As it is now, I have one girlfriend from my youth that I still treasure, but no new real friends that I hang out with or call when I have news to share. This subject is so interesting because so many people are in the same position as you. Maybe we can all grow together as we explore this and other topics. Thank you Ruby for opening up and for holding up a mirror to my life, showing me I'm not alone and that you understand how a lot of us feel.


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