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Monday, April 23, 2012

Which Path?

*Anita Page

Life often presents us with many paths that we could follow. Very often what happens is either mass confusion as to which path is the right one to take and or fear that we will follow the wrong one. Very few people are lucky enough to know from the first step that they are on the right path...and often even if they do, there will be times they are sure that they are not, but plug along anyway. They will either be rewarded or have to go back to the junction and start all over again. My life, and that of my families are all standing at a junction that has so many paths that we are afraid, nearly frozen to the spot, not knowing which one to take. Every single one seems to have a plethora of bumps and hurdles in which to overcome. It is enough to make you want to just put your head down and ignore it all together.

Last week I began sharing in earnest the journey of regaining our life after loosing it all. What we were facing in our desire to become home owners again. As if that alone was not scary and stressful enough, we have two daughters getting married...and one  has so many hurdles in her way, decisions to face and make that daily she is calling in emotional distress as to what to do...not a single path for her looks simple and without some heartaches attached. We do our best, the rest of the family and myself, to help, to listen and to hold her hand during all this, but at the same time we too need the very same. I shared with you last week as well that we decided to part ways with the agent that we had started to work with, it was something that was not easy, and was surrounded by woe and guilt over doing. It was the right path to take. I know that now, especially since meeting with our current agent, John, who had held our hand, and helped us through selling our home via short sale just two years ago. John came over for a glass of wine, to catch up on each other's lives and then to discuss what lies ahead. Let me just say I was glad for the wine. 

John once again told us that even qualifying at the two year point after a short sale was going to be a battle. There will be a hardship letter to write and to get approved, something that used to be only accepted if there was a medical reason...and no, I do not qualify as I was not on the title of our home, only my husband. He was sure that we still had to wait till the three year mark, but we have been told otherwise, and so he said well then it is worth the try...that is all we can do. He then told us that the loan we will be getting and needing is as thought the FHA 203k, a loan that has a refurbishing loan attached to it. He said they were rare and hard to get, even harder for them to get accepted on a home. We knew this, and were prepared for that answer, but it made it no less disheartening to hear. To add to that he said that we will not be fighting other people like us, but in the area, the start up level we are looking at, and being that we desire an older home, well, we would be fighting investors that are way ahead of us in the game. Homes are popping up in our portal that already have offers on them before they become public on the MLS. Today, when checking out the portal, there was only ONE home that was available, and well would not be my first choice...and even if it was, the odds are good that our loan would not be accepted....of course there is always some hope as the market is so very tricky and can change on a dime. That was the ray of hope he gave to us. That by the time we apply for and find out if we are pre-approved, well the market could change again in this area. So we mapped out a game plan. 

That plan includes speaking to a loan company that specializes in FHA's w/ 203ks , and they not only fund the loan, but they have their own construction crew as it is a one stop shop. We will get the hardship letter written. We will gather the bulk of our money for the down before  even trying to look at homes, and we will expand the area that we are looking at, even if that means leaving the town and area that we have grown to love living in and a very long commute for my hubby each day to and from work. I question that part of the path, as I rarely see my husband now and our girls would be further away as would every thing I am used to in my daily life...including my manicurist and hair stylist (well I am a girly girl and good, talented people are hard to find, making it so I too would have to drive more, adding to our living expenses...eating up money we do not have or want to spare. We will not rule anything out at this moment, but it did give me great pause. After discussing the game plan that will be put into play over the course of the month of May, we then had to face a reality that even if we got through the pre-approval process, and perhaps even further down the path, and found a home, that we may not meet our deadline of a December move out....we may have to just re-sign our lease, accepting the raise in the cost of living here, or spend our down payment re-locating and moving to a home in the area to hopefully save a few dollars per month and keep plugging along and praying we can eventually make it happen before we are out priced out of the market all together. A very souring and sobering thought. 

John did his best to try to leave it on a positive note, and say it was still all very possible and that God, the Universe or fate may make it all go very smoothly  and just as it should with a positive outcome, and to hold on to that, and remember nothing ventured, nothing gained. I shall grasp onto that as time marches on with a death grip. In the meantime still hoping and praying that we win Publishers Clearing House or maybe a benefactor will buy us a home, let us lease to own, and easing the way for us to getting our life back. It can even happened for our agent John as he too went through loosing his home and now is in one he loves thanks to his benefactor that did that for him. Both things are long shots, a path that may or may not be available for us to go down, but until we know which path we are sure we want to and are ready to follow, we are not ruling anything out.  


  1. Wishing you the best of luck, Ruby, in finding that home that is yours, no matter which road you end up taking to find it ... it will be so worth it in the end and be one lucky house to have a couple that will care for it so well ;) xoxo

    Sandy at Ooh La Frou Frou

  2. Hi Ruby, You do have a lot going on at one time. It's time to really dig those high heels in and stay strong. Good things will come your way.....keep the faith Ruby. God always has a plan to bring us out better than we were before.
    Dee xoxo

  3. awww some lovely things there i must say!! :)


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