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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Some Doors Slam and Some Don't.

Seems a lifetime since I have posted an update. When last I did we were in a battle against the clock, delays and hurdles that kept popping up in our pursuit to become home owners again. If you follow my personal FB page or my fan page on FB then you know the bits and pieces of what has been happening and that we are not home owners. Let me back up. 

I had told you all that the owner had threatened to pull out if we did not close on the date on the contract. That did not come to pass, at least on that day. We indeed go past it, and fell out of contract having not signed an extension, so we felt as if we were walking on a tight rope for sure. The weekend came and went and we entered into a new week and finally got word it had passed through and been approved by the underwriter, and was on to the next step before being sent to the title company... we thought that was good news. As the day went on, we continued to watch the clock, minute by minute, hour by hour, packing and cleaning, getting ready to depart the next day for a hotel we thought would just be a "rest stop" before moving into our new to us home. When the worst came to pass. There was word that a red flag had been raised and more information was needed before the final approval. It was like a punch in the gut. It knocked the wind out of us. There was something wrong with the numbers, the math was not adding up and our daughter and our mortgage broker scrambled to get the proper information to the single person at the lender that was keeping us from home ownership. Then it was time once again to wait for that phone call to tell us it was all good. 

That night passed with a dark cloud over our heads and no sleep was had by anyone. The next morning was a busy day of continuing trips to the storage unit to move the last of our belongings, scrubbing every inch of the apartment and then at the very last second turning in the keys, and driving to the hotel. We checked in, drained, unable to put two words together between the two of us and a sick feeling in the pit of our stomach. We walked to a local Carrows and ordered food we barely ate and then went back to the hotel. While we had been there trying to eat, more and more bad news about the loan came in. 

We had hoped we would hear
good news, news that would make
us smile, that would not be the case
*Sue Carol 

It would seem that we had been pre-approved for about 15 thousand more than we should have. Either we came up with 15 grand more on our own to make up the difference or that was that. We of course did not have it. So as we walked into our now only roof over our heads,officially homeless, tears came to both our cheeks and little was said the rest of the night that did not have strong emotions tied to it. We were devastated  we did not know how this could have happened, did not understand how it could get that far. How do you get pre-approved for an amount, have it get all the way through underwriting and ready to send to the title company and then is when they figure out that someone had made an error? To top this off the owner did indeed file papers that if we had not signed and funded by the end of that week he was going to pull out and put the house back on the market. Seemed like a threat that did not matter at that point of course, but it was the final nail.

*Colleen Moore
To give much credit where credit is due our mortgage broker was on the phone for days, every hour on the hour trying to figure it out and give us a miracle and still try to get us the house. He never stopped fighting for us. On our end, we knew. We accepted that it was over and we told him to give up the fight. Making it official. It was now time to figure out where we were going to live. We did not want to impose on our middle daughter and her husband. They had indeed offered for us to stay as long as we needed, but we felt for so many reasons that we needed our own space. Come the next day, I met up with our youngest, the one who is making it so we could possibly be homeowners, and we discussed a game plan... find an apartment and get back up on that horse and go look at some homes. Move on. That door has slammed shut.

We went to only two places to seek an apartment, wanting to stay close to where we did live, and familiarization for now of where I was at was important. She suggested the complex where she had lived a year prior and thank goodness they had two openings and one was in our price range. We could take possession on Friday. We had a place to lay our heads. It was not as big as we made sacrifices to be able to get into someplace quickly, and there is no garage so we are still needing to use a storage unit, and have been making trips back and forth trying to locate boxes filled with what we need for daily life, but we have settled in and are getting used to the new environment. The biggest thing for me right now, is peace and quiet to be able to re-group, this complex offers that. Unlike our last complex we lived at where the doors were on springs and everyone let them slam shut, the doors here do not and so it is a nice reprieve.. all I hear for the better part of the day is birds singing within the branches of the tree right outside of the patio door that overlooks the resort like grounds and pool. It has helped me find my center, even if just a tiny bit so I can gain strength to move forward.

One way we did move forward was the same day we looked at and found the apartment, my daughter and myself went to look at homes again. The last of which was a lovely home close to where the last one was and it was in our (new) price range. It was a bit dated, but it was freshly painted, carpeted and the front and back yard looked like a park. The neighborhood was quiet and I could hear the birds and even saw a squirrel on a near by tree. We decided God must have slammed the last door and opened this one and we went through it. That very day we signed papers with an offer, included a hardship letter to hopefully sway the owner and prayed for the best. Two very long days would pass and then came the call.. we had been out bid by someone with a conventional loan and 50% down. House number 4 was not going to happen. We had heard from many that in this market you look at nearly a 100 or more homes, bid on a quarter of them or so and if you are lucky you may eventually get one. I guess there is still a very long road to travel in our efforts to buy a home. I just hope I have the strength, the will power and fortitude to handle all the rejections along the way. 

I want to thank all of you who have stood by me, loyal and true, offered words of encouragement, virtual hugs and shoulders to cry on. I count each of my readers a blessing in my life and though we most likely will never meet face to face, I am grateful to call you a "friend". The life posts will not stop just because we did not get the house(s), I plan to share my new decor ( hubby I guess felt as if we needed it and who was I to argue?) that is in our apartment, perhaps a few daycations and snap shots of our life here at our current "home" and of course as promised, starting tomorrow look for Wordless Wicked Wednesdays where I share some of the best spooky photos I have grabbed off the internet. So until tomorrow....

*Norma Shearer


  1. Ruby, words can't express how sorry I am that you are going through this mess. You've got a good head on your shoulders, and follow your instincts on when to look for another house, and when to walk away from it to recharge your spirit. I'm enjoy your blog, and I hope you enjoy some delightful day-cations!



  2. That you have the courage and stamina to still pursue your dream of a home is stunning and I find great encouragement to confront my own small struggles, because you've shared your great struggles. I like hearing that you can focus on the bird singing and that doors aren't slamming...literally, though they seem to be in other ways. There must be a message in that somewhere.

  3. I'm so sorry you're having this difficulty in finding a home. I've gone through it so many times, as a self-employed single woman (in spite of the many denials that there is no discrimination! Ha ha) but I really don't understand the $15,000 discrepancy. There is no excuse for that kind of incompetence. Like the others, I feel better knowing that you can see the beauty in the squirrel in a tree, the change of seasons, and the need to press forward in your journey. It can be so disheartening but I know that, in the end when you have found your dream home, you will still never figure out how you went through it. HUGS. Come visit when you can.


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